we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
too bad you live with your parents still
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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