my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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