I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
