these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
