The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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