are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
