He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
