I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
