Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Randomize
