I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
