Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
is it fun? or sober?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
