i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
