She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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