her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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