she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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