The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
NoShamevember. You game?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
