um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
