eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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