Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
