I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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