haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
