Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
