whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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