Screwed.edu
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
