he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
