You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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