Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
