It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
