is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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