If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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