i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
