I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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