marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So vagazzling was a success
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
