They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
