i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
