he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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