Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
