You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
