The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
How's work?
Spinning.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
