dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
