all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
