Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wish i was in the wii world.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
