im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
