ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
