She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
