He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
