we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Nicole vs. Life
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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