He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
