What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
