yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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