ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
