i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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