After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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