idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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