And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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