smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
